It's a dog's life

Ok this won't be a long post! I know if my son is reading this he will laugh uncontrollably because he doesn't think I can ever write anything short!
My family is pet crazy, and one step across the threshold of my house clues you into that! If you can make it in the door without being barked to death than you have to avoid the two cats that will lick you to death if you sit in "their" seat. The ferrets are usually not a problem since they live in a big cage in our daughter Kaleigh's room but when they are running around socializing you have to hide your shoes or socks since they appreciate fine (or not so fine) foot ware and will steal it right from your feet. Oh did I mention the hamster that rolls around in his little blue ball and likes to run right in front of you when you are walking? I don't think I have forgotten anyone but than again, it tends to be hard to keep up with all the critters that inhabit my home.
I have always had a fondness for pets, so normally they don't irritate me too much but today I am stalking with hopes of causing at least a little misery, my brat dog Casanova. Nova is a big yellow lab, that was suppose to be a medium sized dog but turned into 75 lbs of unruly fur and slobber. Most of the time he is pretty good. Although as a puppy he reminded me very much of Marley. He does have some bad habits, such as getting into the trash when we aren't looking and eating things that he is not suppose to have. The big lug has stomach issues, which after about $700 later and lots of clean up in more ways than one we finally discovered. He is on a special (i.e. expensive) diet that consists of this boring, no flavor dog food that costs us $50 every three weeks. He is not allowed table scraps or anything that is not flavorless. Now, we all know this but obviously Nova did not read the Doctor's orders and as any typical teenager tuned out the sage advise of his Vet. He does not like his boring food and prefers that delectable goodies that are produced in our kitchen. One day we left him to guard hearth and home while we went to the store. When we came home Nova greeted us at the door proud of his abilities to stop evil that tries to harm us. Expecting to find remains of the thief that dared to break into our home, we were surprised to find only the remains of the Chocolate birthday cake that Nova bravely wrestled to the ground. We waited for imminent death that is suppose to happen when dogs eat copious amounts of chocolate but fortunately, or unfortunately for him he survived and than was literally sent to the dog house to contemplate his crime. We have since (ok it happened several times again) learned to place things on counters at a higher level or place them far back out of his reach.
Which brings me to the rest of the story, Yesterday was fat Tuesday and in honor of the day and because we were waxing nostalgic about fat Tuesdays of yore the kids and I decided to make pazcki's. For those who don't know what a pazcki is, it is a deep fried bundle of joy filled with custards and curds that taste like something sent down from heaven. It is a polish treat that is only made in the few weeks before ash Wednesday. I am not catholic so I don't understand everything but I do know that Hamtramic MI produced some of the best Pazcki's I have ever eaten. Ok, they were the only ones I have ever eaten but they were really good. So we spent all day yesterday creating the delicious dough and letting it rise 4 times! It was truly an all day ordeal, we had to hand fill each little rolled out ball of dough and than fry them until they were a golden brown. By this time it was almost 9 pm so everyone was able to enjoy 1 Pazcki each and the rest (22 of them) were placed lovingly on a platter and set up on a box high on the counter out of reach of any predators.
All of us went to bed with visions of pazcki's dancing through our heads. We had tasted heaven and couldn't wait to enjoy breakfast and another taste of a truly luscious treat. Andrew had taken off the morning to take the kids on a field trip, but had left briefly to take Kaleigh to work at 7 am. When I came downstairs at 8 am I was shocked to see the tray of my beloved Pazcki's void of all but one. I frantically called upstairs, and asked my husband if he had felt the need to binge on Pazcki's but he said no he had one as he left and Kaleigh had not had any. I turned and saw this very large yellow fur ball slinking away, trying to run up the stairs followed by a smaller version of brown, leggy lab Java. Apparently, feeling deprived Nova decided to find a way to climb up on the counter, somehow conquer the mountain and obtain the prize 20 Pazcki's. His guilt and inability to control his now sick bowels gave him away.
He is now banished outside to his kennel where is stomach is roiling and he tail is freezing but hopefully he will have learned his lesson, no bad deed goes unrewarded. It made me laugh, after I got done being mad at him and realized this was a lesson for us all to learn and one I am sharing with my children who are still trying to figure it all out. There are things in life that look really good, sound good and fill us with a burning desire to have, even when we know that it might not be so good for us. Life is full of temptations and desires but the reality is no matter how great they look they aren't always that good for us. Thankfully God provides us with outs when temptation rears its ugly head but when our flesh takes over the consequences can be hard and sometimes difficult to reverse. Nova is learning that right now, he and all of us will be spending the next few days living with the consequences of his actions and I am pretty sure none of us will be having a whole lot of fun. But life is about lessons, and learning so hopefully we have gained a little more knowledge and Nova has learned his lesson!

Life in the fast lane, waiting for the interchange!

It is hard to believe how quickly time passes when your life is going full throttle. All of last week was spent working on the food for our annual Oscars Party fundraiser for Relay for Life, as well as all of the other things that are part of my normal week. Ok, I did leave out that on top of my anniversary, valentines day and my husbands birthday, I also turned another year older! Yeah!?
With everything that we have been undertaking, I found little time to sit at the computer and write anything but I did have time to reflect and discover a few things about myself, my family and what motivates me. One thing that I did discover that doing things for a cause really motivates me when most things like housecleaning, dishes, laundry, the list could go on, I find very difficult to really motivate me to movement. But if there is something that takes me out of the normal everyday living mode I am all over it!
Which would explain why I can't seem to say no when asked to get involved with things! I am a doer, and a fixer. (How many find that a surprise if you read anything I have written :) So of course I am all for doing things that might fix, help or give comfort to others. My faith of course has given me so much, comfort, guidance, unconditional love, and direction that I love to share my love of God with others. That is one reason why I am so active in my church, because I want to do what I feel God is leading me to do and to share his love with those so that they might experience all the wonders that I have found in Christ also. The Youth in our church is a great place to do that, they have so many distractions, counter influences and issues that cause such confusion in their lives. If they are vulnerable, having been hurt, abandoned or abused they are ripe for all kinds of things that will potentially harm them, or destroy their future. I would like to think that we are that little beacon of light that will hopefully steer them away from the rocks and stay on course to a victorious life. Our desire is to see these teens see what God has for them, the blessings and their future full of life and bringing that life to others! So this is one of my biggest motivators right now until my Son graduates and steps into the role of Youth Pastor and we move onto something different.
That was the unsettling thing for me this week to think about. For most of my adult life, my kids, my husband and the youth of the church has been my main motivator. I have lived my whole life for the children who have come through it. Suddenly, I am seeing an end (in a sense) to this part of my life and it is a bit scary. It has always been a no brainier for me, kids + Andrew and Shelly = ministry and life. I will still have the children in my home but I know that Andrew and I are being led into a different direction now but I am not sure exactly what it is going to be. What is going to be that motivator that gets me up and moving, looking forward to and the passion that I seem to really need in my life? I don't quite know but I do know that I am surely not done living and that anytime we begin to move into a new season of our lives, it is always a little unsettling and frightening. I guess that is why they call it faith! Because faith is believing in something that you can't see or feel necessarily but believing that it is truth and taking that big step without looking back and keeping our eyes on God. He has always been faithful to see me through all of life's changes and bring blessings to all situations.
It will be a few more months before all of the changes begin, and I am believing that God is going to revel to me those things that he has for me to do. But, in the meantime I will keep moving forward, working with the young people of our community and doing all the things that I do in my day to help my own children be successful and productive members of society. I am also going to start trying to carve a little more time to do the little things that bring me such pleasure, read a good book, write in my blog and keep putting together the little pieces that will someday make a beautiful piece of art!

Whoa, Has this been a busy weekend. Yesterday Feb 14th Andrew and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary and his birthday! He blessed me with a wonderful night away from home Friday at this place called Grandma's Feather Bed. It was a very needed break from life and we relaxed and enjoyed each others company. It also gave us the opportunity to talk uninterrupted about anything and everything.
That might sound kind of silly to some but for us it is a rare moment where we aren't interrupted by a kid, the phone or an animal and at night pure exhaustion. Words about anything other than kids, bills and whats for dinner are sometimes hard to find. Even when we get a few minutes out for dinner or drive, conversation usually revolves around the latest therapy or issue that has occurred. That night we talked about adult things, politics, life and dreams.
The dreams part was the most interesting for me, it seemed like it had been so long since we had time to dream. For the most part we feel we are living our dream and enjoying it. But for the past few months God has been speaking something different, a new season but life is so busy and full that taking the time to examine that and talk about it never seemed to be possible. What was cool was that we were able to take that 24 hour period and share what we were feeling and try to understand what exactly that might mean. Did we ever figure it out? Nope but we came a few steps closer and realized that we needed to take more time for just us to really hear God and get revelation about this season.
It is so easy to let life and all its problems steal our time and our dreams. For us we realized that before we knew it 27 years had passed. Time truly does fly. So if anyone runs across this blog and reads these words I hope that they take away one thing. Make time, carve it out and never get to busy to listen to God and be ready for that new season he might be waiting to bring you in to. I am excited to see where he is taking us, I know that it will be different and as always an adventure! But I need to slow down and take time so that I don't miss anything. As a couple Andrew and I need to take time out of life and share our dreams and thoughts and make sure we are both hearing God and moving together. We needed the refreshing and I bet if you are reading this you do too!
So we are another year older and another year together and it just keeps getting better!

A light moment in a crazy day

Aren't little kids a joy? Our 5 youngest children are all between the ages of 11 and 16, and while they can be fun and hold interesting conversations they do challenge the patience and frustration levels on a daily basis. So it is nice to have a little break and be able to enjoy the innocence and pure joy of toddlers and babies sometimes.
It has been an adjustment, getting used to watching little ones again, Fia is 2, Reagan is 3 (going on 20, he is very grown up at times) and my Granddaughter Esther is almost 4 months. Of course they all have their moments, Reagan can be very stubborn and bossy and has no problem telling you what to do. He plays the big brother very well, one minute bossing his sister around and hugging on her and the next (when I am not looking) smacking on her when he wants a toy she has. He has the sweetest heart though, my day is not complete unless I get one of my Reagan hugs and the tickle monster loves to hear him laugh that sweet little belly laugh when he is being chased. Fia is a little charmer, she has the most beautiful eyes and sweetest little voice. But don't ever get into an argument with that one, she always has to have the last word, no matter what.
My sweet little Esther is so much like her mom that many times I am transported back into time holding Meg once again. She looks like her mom and is as stubborn and gets as mad as her also. But when she smiles, her whole face lights up and she raises her one eyebrow just like her daddy and my heart melts.
I absolutely love my time with these three and wouldn't trade it for anything, they teach me lessons that I thought I had already learned but obviously had long forgotten. Never argue with a 2 year old, don't hold the baby over your head, you will definetly be sorry and be mindful that most 3 year olds are very literal and don't call them transformers! I have also remembered why parenthood is really for the youthful, they can be pretty tiring and I am really liking this Nanna thing I have got going. Being a parent is great, but Nanna's can get away with much more and when they act up or get real fussy, I can send them home!
Thanks for taking a little silly break from life with me. Hope you enjoyed it!

It all in the perspective

Ok, this week has been very difficult. Our 16 year old son has so many issues. He has been sexualized at a young age and was taken advantage of by a sexual predator in the high school. He is also bi-polar, ODD, and FASD. Lots of acronyms which means he is pretty messed up. We didn't know to what extent his problems were until after he came to our home. He is one of those broken pieces that fits into our family but he constantly fights against it. He is also one of the biggest challenges that we have faced. It is hardest for me, I am with him 24/7 which drains my energy and patience. This week has been a battle, he has been told repeatedly that he was not to act out sexually in our home because he can not stop once he starts but sadly he has been slipping, and sliding into the abyss and when he thought I wasn't looking went to the bathroom and acted out. With all these problems he becomes angry and defiant and oppositional towards me in particular. Maybe it is because I can sense when he is slipping and I call him on it, maybe it is because somewhere in his mind he feels guilt for breaking a rule or maybe it is just part of the brain damage from the FSAD and the bi-polar that he battles and takes medication for. It is a constant battle for his mind and his spirit. We feel like we have been in a 2 year battle and still feel like we are losing the fight. Especially me, see I am a fighter, I love the quote from Galaxy Quest (One of my favorite movies!) Never give up never surrender. I actually live by that motto even before I had heard of that movie. I don't like to admit defeat, and when it comes to the life and future of a child, one that I have given my heart to and know that God has called his own, I fight that much harder for.
Many people questioned our reasoning for adopting him, knowing just a little of his issues. From their prospective there wasn't much hope for him, he was too old and the behaviors were already ingrained into him. I have to admit to times where we have felt the same frustrations and fears that no matter what we do it won't be enough. Thankfully God's perspective is much different than ours. He sees things so much differently than we do and he has the tenacity to keep trying and trying until we have no choice but to recognize the love he has for each of us. I have had to take off my glasses and try to put on Jesus's glasses and see our son through his eyes. It can be very difficult because we are in the battle field and when bullets and grenades are flying all around you it is hard to see a different perspective and see victory. But when I really do see Jesus and his perception of Jacob than I can see that here is a young man that will one day when he can grasp the enormity of God's love has a future that will change lives. His struggles and difficulties will enable him to help so many young people that are fighting the same or similar battles and are looking for a love that heals all wounds, mends the broken and raises the dead, restoring life. He sees not a broken piece but a wounded soul and he sees the whole beautiful piece of art that is being glued together. There is nothing that God can't restore, nothing that he can't heal if we are willing and open to what he wants to pour out in us.
So yeah it has been a rough week and next week might not be much better and I might still want to give up on occasion but I guess it really is all in the perspective. I can look at him and see failure and resistance or I can see him with the potential that God sees in him and keep fighting the good fight and loving him as only a mother can love a child. If your week or day feels like it was one from hell than I encourage you to put on another pair of glasses and see if it changes your perspective, it may not make it all better but it sure does help hold on and enjoy the ride a little better! Be blessed.

What am I doing here?

Well how do I begin, I guess telling you a little about me would help make my blogs title make a little sense. I am a wife, chauffeur, cook, cleaning lady, babysitter, but my main title that most of these fall under is Mom. I have 8 wonderfully, complex and sometimes challenging children ranging in ages 26 to 11. They are my planets that orbit around my universe. The three oldest of my children Meghan, Kaleigh and Jesse are born of Andrew and my genes and a living testament of the love we share together. My other children are born of our hearts. We did not give birth to them, we didn't have the joy of watching them go from infant to smiling toddler, and some we were not there when they went off for their first day of kindergarten or move into Middle school. They came to our home broken fragments from families that could or would not care for them. That in their own choices choose to put themselves above the needs of their children and sadly allow sometimes unspeakable things to happen to them some even before they were born. We did (still do, although we are a full home and have no room for others right now.) foster care and can honestly say that although we were fully informed of what we were about to experience, really had no idea what we were getting into.
It has been an amazing ride, one that we still are on and although there are lots of ups and downs and sometimes we feel like we are free falling from the top, we wouldn't change anything for the world. Some of our beautiful babies, who would shoot me for calling me that since they are 16, 16, 14, 13 and 11, have issues ranging from FASD to Bi-polar, Oppositional disorder to eating disorders. But these things although, debilitating, do not define them. They struggle every day to overcome things that the rest of us take for granted but they do it with strength and the desire to overcome. We knew what we were taking on, but oh my goodness I fell in love with them the moment I saw their faces and when we were asked if we would be willing to adopt them as the opportunity would arise, there was no doubt in our hearts that they were the missing pieces to our beautiful piece of art we call our family.
I have kind of lost count of the children that have passed through our home but their faces and their stories have burnt a picture forever in my heart and mind. They may have only been here a week or 2 years but they are all my children and will have a place in our hearts. With joy we have seen families put back together and even still the kids run up and hug us and call us mama Shelly and dado (Andrew's name when one of our kids couldn't say his name). With sadness and some frustration we have also sat in court watching families fall apart and children shell shocked because they are the walking wounded now without a home or identity. If I could I think I would take them all in but God has given us what we can handle for this moment and who knows what the future will bring.
I would love to say everyday is wonderful and fulfilling but in reality it is sometimes a struggle to make it through the day with our sense of humor in tact as well as much of our sanity. So this is where this blog is coming in to play. It will be a place to share some of the struggles and share in the joys. I am homeschooling our children as well as taking care of my niece, nephew and four month old granddaughter. We have special classes, speech, therapy, snowboarding, guitar and many other things that makes me more of a road warrior some days than a home body. I am blessed to be a part of a small but growing church where I am active with the youth group as well as other duties. Life seems to be in fast forward, and doesn't seem to allow for much time for conversation or friendships, this is my chance to share my heart, and life and maybe on some off chance touch a life than great! I love my life, I love my children, and hope that you enjoy what you read. For my family that reads this hope you don't mind me sharing you!
So welcome to our mosaic, enjoy the colors of the pieces and lets make beautiful art!